Ask a Gentrifier: Where’s the best place to eat cheese on a gentrifier budget?
I walked into Mission Cheese the other day because, well, who has two thumbs and loves cheese? THIS GUY. But, it turns out Mission Cheese does not cater to gentrifiers—see, a cheese plate cost $35 bucks, and after I paid my $2700 rent check this month, all I had left was $5.37. Luckily for us gentrifiers, there is a place in the neighborhood that caters to us… DUC LOI. Yup, I walked off the flower-scented streets of Valencia to the urine-soaked abyss of Mission and copped me some stale Wheat Thins and a can of Cheez-Wiz. Not only was my cheese plate complimented with a few nitrous hits, but I still had enough money left over for 24 cool ounces of Tecate. Gentrifiperfection!