Allow me to paint you a picture. You’ve just stumbled onto the set of the Food Network’s adaptation of Saw, but instead of hanging out with the babes over at the catering table, you’re in Jigsaw’s bathroom. You’re in Jigsaw’s bathroom with burritos taped to your hands. And guess what? Anthony Bourdain is holding your family captive and is going to murder them unless you eat through your newfound pound-and-a-half carne asada appendages and escape. Tic-toc, motherfucker; it’s almost six o’clock.
That’s how having two steamy burritos taped to your hands feels. A game with no winners. Should you best the challenge, you’re looking at being bedridden for days and a lifetime of grisly flashbacks every time you step foot in a taqueria. Lose, and forever be that asshole who strapped two giant cylinders of empty calories to his hands and couldn’t even finish the damn things… [Link]